50 Shades of Wrong

Sometimes, I wear things that just don't work. Unfortunately, this dress is one of those things. And instead of learning from my mistake, hiding said item in the depths of my closet and forgetting that the unfortunate occurence ever happened, I decided to post the tragic photos for all to see. Enjoy.

unfortunate teal dress {thrifted} - plum tote {justfab} - bronze gladiator sandals {Steve Madden via Century 21} -

Love bracelet {etsy} - gold watch {Target}

Let's start with the dress' redeeming qualities, shall we?

1. Color

That list is pretty darn short. I've got one plus and one plus only. The dress is a pretty shade of teal which made for a smashing contrast with my plum tote and seafoam nails. That's all I got.

Moving on to everything that is wrong about this dress. It is loose in all the wrong places (read: the girls) and clingy in definitely the wrong places (read: tummy). It is an atrociously awkward length and needs to lose at least two inches. It shows panty lines like nobody's business. And to top it all off, there is a faint stain (but stain none the less) on the skirt that I failed to notice in the thrift shop (gross).

Disregarding how uncomfortable I felt all night in this dress, I've decided it may be salvageable. I have only worn it once before in the winter and it worked much better styled with tights and boots (and a tight tank underneath to streamline things...). I need to take up the hem and possibly nip and tuck a bit in the chest but I am determined to turn this ugly duckling into a beautiful teal swan. Stay tuned!

j.

P.S. How many of you thought of the porno romance novel that's flying off the shelves when you read the title to this post? It's alright, you can admit it. Honestly, it's amazing how often I hear conversations about this book. Today, I overheard three women say "they're making it a movie...I wonder who they would get to play him" and that's all it took for me to know which book they were referencing. But seriously, for all of you who've read it - who would play Christian Grey?!