Hi friends! My apologies for my absence this past week. I came down with a stomach bug that had no mercy on me whatsoever. The only thing worse than being sick in the summer? Being sick in the middle of a heat wave. There was a lot of sweat. Not a lot of clothing. And while I condone pantlessness at the best of times, I figured it would be in poor taste to blog about it. Or else it would turn this blog here into a whole 'nother type of blog, and I don't think we're ready for that
Anyways, all this idle time lying in bed allowed me to over think anything and everything. I have been having mini panic attacks lately over the prospect of being done school and what comes next. I know that I still have two whole semesters before this happens. And the summer is not even halfway over but lately I just can't seem to stop myself from living in the future. In the what ifs. While sometimes planning is necessary and allows for growth, in this instance, it is just causing undue anxiety. I have been talking with friends about these thoughts and anxieties and turns out I am not alone in my over analytical ways. My friend, let's call her little Dee, has been stressing about the right internship to persue in the Fall. Should she intern two or three days a week? If she chooses three, she would have to drop from seven classes down to six. Six classes AND an internship?! But I am exactly the same way. We feel like our program is so short that we have to make the most of every possible opportunity. And a semester not interning is as good as wasted. But are we killing ourselves and setting ourselves up for a major meltdown so that we are not effective in any thing we do? Maybe. Probably. But it comes with the territory that is fashion school.
And then there is the ever daunting task of having to find a job once this school business is out of the way. And while I am not saying that my American friends have it a bit easier - okay that is exactly what I'm saying. Being a canuck, while advantageous in it's own right, just adds another layer of complicated to this whole job hunt. Especially if I want to stay in NYC or elsewhere in the States. So now this has me thinking of where I want to reside on a more permanent level. Is it here in NYC? Or back in Canada? Are there fashion jobs in Canada? That would make coming to NYC to study at one of the most renowned fashion schools in the world worth it? I don't know. It's also strange not knowing exactly what I want to do as a career. I know my genre obviously but the details are fuzzy. Hence the constant pressure of interning and experiencing as much as possible.
Do you see the dilemma? At some point, we all have to accept that we don't have it all figured out right now. And for right now, maybe that is okay. The end of school is still a ways off and lots can happen between now and then. For now, I need to remind myself to live in the moment, stop worrying so much and that I live in New freaking York, one of the most exciting cities in the world. Make the most of every opportunity that presents itself, know my limits in order to maintain some level of sanity over the next year and trust that, in the end, everything is going to be okay.
Put simply, I need to chill out.